Today was the last straw. I can no longer sit quiet about the pigsty bathroom in my office building.

· Why is it that at any point of the day I can walk into the women’s bathroom and find a mountain of toilet paper on the floor? Are you wrestling the rolls? Are you toilet paper unraveling challenged?

· If you’re going to squat and pee and miss the mark, for the love of all that is sanitary wipe the freaking seat. No one needs to see you marking the bowl. You’re not a dog.

· Please wash your hands after using the rest room. I die a little each time I see a woman use the toilet and then fix her hair and walk out without washing.

· If you are one of the very few who will wash their hands, do you feel the need to baptize the sink? I will never understand why it always looks like my three year old had a water fight in a women’s bathroom.

· There is a garbage can in the restroom for a reason, please feel free to toss your hand drying towel in the garbage and not on the actual sink. Or are you also garbage finding challenged?

· Flush. Do you see that HUGE big silver arm on the back of the toilet? Us common folks use it to flush toilets. I do not need to know what color your urine is, I am not doing any medical testing on it to check for vitamins after you are done.

· We have all had to use the toilet for a bowel movement, this is understandable. But if you just went and see me walking into the same stall, do me a solid and let me know that my skin may start to melt at the contact of the smell. I may decide I don’t have to pee right at that time and avoid having to be scarred for the rest of the day with your shit aroma.

· Cleaning crew, this is for you: How about a deodorizer in the women’s bathroom? I hate walking into to a women’s bathroom and smelling buttussy. It makes me want to throw up and wish I had a penis so that I could pee standing in a urinal, shake and tuck away.