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June 2008, Bitchy Moms
June 2008, Bitchy Moms Friday
06Jun
Simple & Happy
June 6, 2008 Simple is as simple does. I am a simple girl. And I say that term in the kindest meaning. Simple is not dumb. I am friendly & outgoing (most of the time). I went to college. I am was an avid reader. I keep up to date with current events.
Where am I going with this? Well, last month I attended a “Mommy & Me**” kind of event on Long Island. I attend the event because I thought; one my son would love it and two, I would have a common ground of “parenting” to discuss with these women. I showed up ready to play. Jeans, no make-up, sneakers and my camera.
I was appalled by the isolation given to the mother’s that were new to the group (i.e.: me). I cannot express to you how uncomfortable it was to be starred down by other quote, unquote, Mothers.
These grown women acting like high school girls (there were five of them in the evil circle). They whispered behind backs or they would do the ol’ look over the shoulder turn around real quick and close talk. You could hear them talking about the new Coach bag that just came out for $700 or how their husband got pissed about the recent credit card bill. I should say that I am not judging them at this point.
Fuck off with your fake nails, and your cheesy Cache outfits. That is what I wanted to say out loud but I had to use my “Big Girl Manners” in front of my son. I can put the best game face on ladies, and that is exactly what I did. Women like that do not bother me anymore.
Thankfully I saw another mom who looked uncomfortable being there. I started to make small conversation with her and we ended up really hitting it off. Turns out it was her first time at this event too. Her son and my son got along famously too, which made the time pass quickly.
Here is where I get judgmental.
But while the kids were playing, I chatted with this woman but also observed the other “Moms” that were at the event. Watching their interaction with their kids was actually kind of sad. One mom must have told her child to leave her along about twenty times because she was talking. Okay, before you get all “well kids can be annoying with questions”, I get that, but this woman would not take a second to kneel down to find out what question her three year old wanted to ask her. Turns out the kid had to go the bathroom and he ended up peeing his pants. Or when the women in the three inch heels (at a sneaker worthy event) spanked her sons hiney for farting and then laughing about it with the other kids - I knew I had hit my limit of how much more I could take.
What happened to just letting kids giggle and have fun? I mean childhood is such a small window in the "whole life" scheme of things. Let them enjoy it, isn't that why you are here at a Mommy & Me event?
I won’t be returning to that group. Why? Because they do not know how to play nice with others. I gossip. I do, it is in everyone’s nature to gossip. But I have never, and will never go out of my way to make someone feel isolated and unwanted in a social setting. I walked out of the event with a new friend and a deeper appreciation for just how simple I am.
I laugh when my kids fart. I make them laugh about it. I want my boys to be able to be boys as long as they can. Life is too short to forget just how good laughing and being silly feels.
**Not the name of the event.
Reader Comments (34)
No kidding? Wow. For farting? *snort* My kids are known to call them out, We are known to holler back, "The one who smelt it, dealt it!" It's not uncommon to hear a little voice scream, "Ewwww, mommy FARTED!" Or even, "Mommy? I farted, and it stiiinks."
Sounds like the 'mean girls' never out grew high school. Those b'otches need a time out. Their loss in not making nice and getting you and your son as new friends.
Good for you for leaving! I've found that sort of superficial behavior runs rampant in my area/neighborhood too. Besides my old friends, I don't have many other "mommy friends" and this, unfortunately, is probably why. Yuck. I guess it's every where at varying degrees. <sigh>
When you start a cool but grounded mommy club, I hope I can join ;)
I've been there. Sooooo been there, and it's not fun.
P.S. Loving the new look here, my friend!
What IS it with those mothers? I knew that wasn't the name of the event because I was pretty sure you were describing on in MI..until I realized that of course you were not. :) But honestly, those fancy skinny "we're too good for you" mamas are so not worth a waste of time. Give me someone who knows how to laugh and get dirty with the kids any day, sister!
That sucks. Sounds like those women should have been NOT at a "Mommy & Me" event. I know exactly what you mean, I love to visit and gossip just as much as the next person, but there is a time and a place.
Well, we just have to have our cyber Mommy & me event. I'll bring the eight-year-old to teach all the younger kidlets how to make farting noises with their armpits. Oh, and the finer points of distance spitting. Meanwhile, I'm down for the brownies, and anyone who dares show up will be smothercated in a huge hug to start. Oh, and leave the three-inchers in Carrie's closet. We do tennies and birkenstocks in my world. Hmmph these women don't know what they are missing.
Example #24 why I hate people.
(except for my 7 real-life friends and all you web sluts)
Been there. Done that. Just came back from the pool and was going to post about something similar. GET OVER IT... mothers. Start enjoying your freaking kids. UGH! Anyways... was totally going to blog about this next week. Now I am fired up!
If two kids are in an elevator and somebody farts, everybody knows who did it. Good for you Kim. Years from now those same Mothers will be bailing their kids out of jail wondering; "where did I go wrong?"
Man...I can relate to this post so well. Just replace the Coach bag with diamond rings. I'm so sorry these women treated you this way. It would disgust me too to see what kind of role models these "mothers" are for their children. Good for you for not taking your child back, and for reaching out to another mom.
this is exactly what so much of my entire neighbourhood is like. it makes me feel sick. i've never ever heard of a kiddo being spanked for farting! god, if mine could do it on command, i'd give her a sticker!
Oh I am so with you!
Actually totally ditched the mom's club in my area, due to the fact that NO ONE PLAYED WITH THEIR KIDS!
Don't even get me started. I agree life is too short, play, enjoy and be.
And hey, we are too much alike. I would also be the one in jeans wiht my camera playing with my kids. And yeah, the "simple" thing fits me too! :)
Simple is great Kim! And, I totally agree with wanting my kids to enjoy their youth as long as possible. Hope all is well with you and your family!
Glad to hear you made the best of a bad situation and found a new friend. I was really intimidated by the Moms at my daughter's preschool. I saw another Mom there who reminded me of myself - she seemed uncomfortable around them too. And, she wore that same frazzled look I had. I struck up a conversation. I offered a playdate. Now we're friends, and I'm so grateful.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that... I know exactly how you feel though - my youngest (Lauren) goes to a private school and there is a group of "Mommies" that are exactly like that! They're sooo terribly irritating and I can't really tell them off as I'd like to because our kids have to spend another 8 years together - so I just try to ignore them.
On the bright side, you have a new friend and your kids get along - so it wasn't a total loss.
I am a simple girl as well.
And I HATE women like that. I took my kids to the museum once and there was a playgroup there. They made me ill! I started my own playgroup with friends of mine. It was great!
I am nauseated by how they treated you. And you know what, I feel so sorry for people like this. How can they enjoy life and their children when they are too busy judging others? I'm glad you connected with someone there... a silver lining in a tortuous evening.
Thus the reason I blog. I meet amazing people--GOOD people. And, oddly enough, I find that a lot of the women I've connected with out here are a lot like me. It is rather ironic that the people out here in the virtual world seem to be a lot more REAL than those out in the REAL world. So odd . . .
I wish you lived closer . . . we could have a play date and the kids could have farting contests!!!
oh man I totally relate...my thing with the other moms was how much they compare me, them, other moms and how we all looked. Who was the skinniest, who got back to pre-baby shape the quickest...it was just all so cut-throat, it actually made me depressed. Thus the only mommy friends I have are in cyber-space :( If I went to Mommy & Me, I would be cornered and beaten with breast pumps...
I enjoy farting as well, especially when the dog's nearby because I can blame it on her. :-)
Good for you! That group of mommies sounds completely crazy?! I think some mothers have kids to be 'mom's' and some have kids only to have 'accessories'-it's so sad.
~k
Ugh! What a yucky bunch of moms! I wouldn't want to play with them either. I hate when moms (parents) seem completely inconvenienced by their children. I'm sure my 5-year battle with infertility colored that for me, but it makes me furious to see the gift of motherhood taken for granted. They grow up soooo fast. I don't want to miss anything!
That is awful! I don't blame you one tiny bit. I hate people like that. Glad you took the high road and just walked away. Too many people want to fit in so desperately!
OMG, I so hear you on this! I went to a similar event here a couple of years ago and it was the same petty BS you described. I never went back either. So much for moms coming together. That's pretty hard to do when a certain percentage don't seem to have left high school. I'm sorry, but I hope you got the name/number of the one mom you hit it off with.
You're describing my nieghborhood. Take the Coach, add diamonds, $200 jeans, and Mercedes or a Lexus and you're in my hood. One of these "moms" in my neighborhood basically made my son's life a living hell at preschool...and he was best buddies with her son. Moms in my nieghborhood compete to be a size 2...on a 5'8" frame. I don't understand women like this, and probably never will. I'm happy you made a new friend out of it.
We grow up, but that doesn't mean we grow up. Know what I mean?
that is what my son's preschool is like. it's grotesque! these women never grew up...just like their mothers before them...
but, they can go ahead...i'll pull down my pants...and they can kiss my rosy red rear end...with tongue...
xoxo
I really hate people like that. Why don't others ever grow up?!
@@, Sad really.
Guess who's never been to a playgroup, ever? Guess why. :)