Adventures In Bra Hunting
June 26, 2008 Can we talk about breasts for a second? Or boobs, the girls, whatever you feel the need to call them.
I am breast challenged. I have always been breast challenged. But I can say that before I became a Mom, they were cute. Finding a bra was always easy. I was able to “fill out” a bra with no problem. I mean I was never a voluptuous girl but listen; the man upstairs gives you what he gives you right? You get what you get and you don’t get upset. Or so I thought.
But now I am a Mom, being pregnant twice and having breastfeed my son for 15 months, let’s just say none of it was kind to my two little friends. So not only am I breast challenged, I am bra challenged. I cannot find a bra to help me feel more like a girl and less like a walking stick figure with an ass. My poor shirts silently beg to look like they do on the mannequin in the store.
My problem with push up bras is you have to have something to push up. If you don’t have something to push up it ends up looking like you have two pointed cones in your chest regardless of how rounded the bra is, and last I check the Madonna circa 1990 look is out.
I have tried the chicken cutlets, you know those plastic inserts to help increase your bust line. Yeah, I feel prey to that marketing. They make my boobs sweat. And I can only imagine the embarrassment if I bent over and one fell on the floor.
I have tried the water bra. Only to destroy it by throwing it in the dryer.
I have tried the ultimate push up bra by Victoria’s Secret. Only to find that ultimate means I will end up having lots of storage space at the top of the bra because I apparently don’t have enough to fill the ultimate bra up.
I can't even touch the strapless bra topic without bursting into tears because it normally ends up around my stomach.
Truth be told, there was even a brief look into a breast augmentation. I was seriously considering it until I realized that I would be in pain. Pain + Me= not so much fun. Plus, my boys live on my hip and the last thing I need is for one of them to accidentally hit the “new additions”. And with the price of oil at $27,900 a gallon, the idea of paying $10,000 for a pair of boobs just does not fit in the budget. ***
Over the weekend I will be on the hunt for "the bra". I will drag my boys into stores that will cause temper tantrums. I will bribe, beg and plead with my oldest to behave for just one more minute while I wade through what feels like thousands of different types of bras.
This entire debacle started because my favorite bra recently quit on me. Without notice I might add. The entire strap just disintegrated without warning. I held it in my hands and sighed at how pathetic and tired the old girl looked. Yes, I did work you overtime my dear friend. You were loyal, and a replacement will be hard to find.
Sigh.
So wish me luck on my "Adventures In Bra Hunting". I hope to come back victorious, at least for my shirts sake.
***If I ever end up winning lotto, this option will be reconsidered; quickly.
Reader Comments (27)
I will never tell you what to do, but I will say this. Buying my boobs was the best thing I ever did for myself. It took my self esteem from 1% to easily 12%. And I have never ever regretted it. That being said, yup, it's painful, but it's doable if you've got hands to help with the kiddos.
I bid you good luck shopping. I can't manage to find a bra to fit me without Isobel wearing thongs around her neck and opening change room doors on me. (This secretly means that I love bra shopping)
God, I hate my boobs. They are a mess and I seriously consider getting a lift.
That being said, I wish you well in your bra hunting endeavor!
One...you know MY bra shopping story. Leave the kids at home. Two...go ask dawn at www.kaiseralex.com That girl knows her way around a bra shop.
I am so NOT a fan of bra shopping... and I feel your pain because while I do have some boobs.. they are on the serious droopy side after my 2 kids. I need bras for the purpose of pulling my boobs up off my navel.
Here's my bra recommendations.... Wacoal makes a killer bra with very light padding - basically it's thick enough to just cover up so your nipples don't show through. The strap can change to a t-strap or a halter-strap too...
Good luck... you'll definitely want (make that need) a cocktail afterwards!
Recently I discovered the 'teen' sections (a.k.a. Juniors) in the undergarments. I'm petite and these funky bras fit me perfectly where the woman's and missus' bras just made me feel like I was playing dress up. I never shop at Vickie's anymore because I don't have the 'type' of body they dress.
My favorite places? Target, Macy's, Gap, BonTon. The extra bucks on a better bra is definitely worth it.
ugh, bra hunting gives me a migraine. My favorite bra would probably punch me if it had arms. I wear it constantly.
I have exactly the OPPOSITE problem - I am probably IDEALLLY sized at a 32D which doesn't really exist even at Victoria's Secret. So I settle for 34C's, but have a hell of a time finding a cup the holds me in, a strap that keeps me up, etc, because when you have all that extra baggage, eventually you WILL sag (at the tender age of 27).
Bra shopping sucks for anyone not a 34B is what it pretty much sounds like.
By the way, being well endowed makes swimsuit shopping horrendous, sundress shopping miserable. Pretty much most of the styles of today make me look like I am trying to dress like a slut.
KEEP BELIEVING
Kim, I am totally boob-challenged, and I also tried the chicken cutlets; water girls; I can not even nearly fill up a strapless. I had no boobs to begin with, and even less now (and Murphy;s law, of course, I LOST what little I had after nursing the girlie for 19 months. My sister, who I swear stole what I was supposed to have in the boob department, looks like she's gonna keep what she got nursing. The world is just so not right, sometimes).
I thought about buying boobs, and often hubs just says "why don't you just get them already"( for the record, he doesn't think I need them, but if they help me deal, he's all for it. He's an ass man.). I could handle the pain probably, but should have done before having kids. I don't think I'd want to have to explain to the kids as I want them to be comfortable in their own skin. Besides, I hear that sometimes you have to get them replaced every few years, and I don't think I could handle an operation more than once.
Can't wait to see if you have any luck shopping. I tend to like the Triumph Petites brand, if you have access to those at all. They look like they were made in Hong Kong... where a lot of little titty girls like me live!
I HATE bra shopping! Throw taking the kids along for it, and you've got a recipe for a disaster . . . I know, I am no help - but I'll be sending you good bra shopping juju in hopes that you are successful! :)
Amen woman! I have found love in the V.S. Biofit collection though. Mine aren't the same size anymore and they're different shapes, too. Ugh. I have given serious thought to 'fixing' them with surgery, but like you... who can afford it anymore? ugh.
Good luck sweets!!
I have the same problem... I went out and got three different kinds of pushup bras, including the Victoria's Secret one, and I found one that really does what it says for us flatties - Cheap but Magic I tell you!
good luck. Just remember, I don't want to see any boobage on you. {{shudders}}
Have you considered a little cosmetic fixer up? My wife wants that when we're done producing children. I agreed, of course.
Me = no boobs + back fat + fat belly = suckass bras
Good luck...I hate bra shopping...it's like it takes forever to find "the one" and then when we do we wear it until it falls apart only to find out "it's obsolete" and have to start the hunt again.
Good luck my friend..good luck!
~K
Totally considering the purchase idea here. If my grandparents ever stop reading the blog, I will get to the details on that one at a later time.
I too have nothing! NOTHING. Had teensy prior to kids, and now NADA!
But, I did go to Nordstroms last year to get fitted for a bra. It really was a great experience, and Nordstroms has like 900 different ones to choose from. Maybe take the boys to Nordstroms??
Good Luck, and hope you find something perfect fast! Thanks for posting what I TOTALLY feel!! :)
GUY HERE! But, hell... I applaud your efforts. If I may be so bold to speak for all of guydom. We aren't worthy. Typically we don't put this much thought into all of our wardrobe choices combined.
Oh, and I totally am with you re: the cosmetic option. hmmmmm, elective pain.... hmmmm... I'm all set thanks!
My boobs actually got bigger with each baby. Weird, I know! But I seriously consider having them put back on the top shelf ALL THE TIME! And then I feel guilty that my kids won't go to college :-(
I really like the Secret Embrace and the Biofit at VS. And Gap Body actually has some very comfortable bras as well. They have a great T-shirt one that has lift but isn't an underwire, I can't remember what it's called though. Good luck in your hunting!
Honey, you are singing my song. I'm in the same EXACT boat.
While laying down, you could probably use me as a drafting table :(
Unfortunately I had the opposite problem and after two kids went from manageable to mutant boobage. I can't seem to keep the 'sisters' pent up. I just want to find one that has coverage without having to wear a bra that comes up under my chin. Good luck shopping.
Kim, you can use my boobs any time....LOL....
I think bras in most stores were just made to torture all of us who aren't "average" (where "average" = fashion industry's wet dre@m of a woman's body). Victoria's Secret, however, is an AWFUL place to shop, in my humble opinion, if you aren't "average." I've never had luck finding my size there. A nice department store is your best bet, I think. And on the weekend? Go without the kids. Or at least go without one of them. It's so much easier to keep one under control than two in a dressing room. Bring cheerios. (or Benadryl and a stroller...oops, did I say that out loud? Sorry. I meant DON'T give your kids something that will make them sleep in a stroller while you try things on.) Good luck!
Oh honey, you're talking to the wrong person. If I put on a push up bra my boobs would be up around my ear lobes. Not pretty.
....ok, let me start by sharing the pain with you...moment of silence...ok, so my boobs were kind of like yours, they weren't huge, but I was happy with them. Now I've been breastfeeding for 10 months now and the milk is starting to dry up a bit (will wean soon) and I can foresee that they will become much smaller than before, so combined with the stretched DOWN factor, bra-shopping won't be a pleasant experience. I was looking for normal cotton bras that are racerback? Luck finding them? none..why is EVERY bra SO thick and padded in the cup? hence, the madonna thing!
Oh I could definitely have written this post! I was a good B size prior to kids. 3 kids and many MANY years of breastfeeding later....I literally am barely an A. But I refuse to consider trying on a AA size. I haven't worn those since I was in 9th grade. I refuse to shop for bras in the pre-teen shop.
I usually don't mind my new size though. I guess, IMO, it is better than being too big. I like to run and be physically active and when the girls were huge from breastfeeding, I had a hard time.
Anyway, suffice it to say I haven't purchased a good bra in years. I just can't find one. If you do discover the perfect one though, let me know!
I WISH mine had shrunk up after kids, but they just grew and grew and grew . . . and now I can´t find a decent bra to pen the suckers up. :( It doesn´t help that I live in Guatemala and despite the fact that there are many huge women here, there is not a bra over 36B to be found. I literally fall out of those several times a day!
I'll give you mine. :(