so so smart girl. I feel the same way. I feel yr pain.

I hear you Kim. And I think what you are doing is great. We don't have friend birthday parties until they turn three. And even then, they can only have a max of 5 kids over. (Don't think I still don't feel some guilt about it not being "the big bash" that everyone else seems to do) I agree YOU should not miss out on your babies special day because you are crazy party thrower.

Great Lesson!!

Right on w/ everything. NO MORE big parties here!

Big parties = cleaning. Mama don't clean.

word. i am still struggling with finding the happy medium. ;)

Heard!
We had 130 people at our house for Princess' 1st birthday. Why? Because we're stinking crazy. My parent's had the right idea. We got a party, with 8 kids max one year and the next year we got 1 friend and dinner at the restaurant of our choice.
I think we're going to implement that same policy.

I loved OhMommy's post too.

Parties are supposed to be fun, aren't they? Not just for the people attending, but also for the host. Good for you for resolving to be sure that happens next time!

I'm struggling with you! My kids now expect the big bashes (that take months to plan) - how do you say nope, you can't do it this year (even though you've done it every other year)...

I'm proud of you for being brave enough to take a stand!!

Like I told OHMommy, I get it totally. For those who enjoy it, it's GREAT. For those of us who stress out over it....totally.not.worthit!

Thanks for the heads up because LC's 1 year birthday is coming up in August, unfortunately there are not many friends who will come anyway probably. We'll see, we only know one other couple with a baby~ But you know Kim, the thing is the party was for baby Aaron and he probably had a blast, so at the end of the day, that's all that matters right?

hey, if momma's stressed out about festivities, kiddos get stressed, out, too right? even just by not having you available as much as usual? this is my theory, anyways.

this year, for Isobel's second, i plan to invite a bunch of kiddos and their parents to the spray park. there will be bubbles and facepaints and alcohol and juice boxes and cupcakes. and that's it. because really? it's all about the parents getting a buzz on while the kiddos get a buzz on and get to see presents!

at least that's what i'm telling myself.

I love parties and I can totally see myself going off the deep end when I finally have children. I'm going to try to keep this post at the back of my head for when that time happens! It sounds like small parties are the way to go!

I'm going to a page out of your book, and OHmommy's.

It always amazes me that something so much time and energy goes into planning flies by and we didn't seem to enjoy much of any of it until it is over...and then it is because of relief. Mommy guilt is a bad thing...but glad you learned the lesson and next time you can enjoy some quality party time!
~K

Yo tam bien. My big party days are long gone. I actually miffed my brother and sister for not inviting them to my son's birthday party yesterday. "Grandparents only". My son has five Grandmas and Two Papas.

The kids remember the smaller ones more though. My daughter doesn't remember who all was at her big parties, but the smaller ones she can name them all and what they did for and said to her.

That's one huge party!

I think we're all guilty of trying to do too much - it's an inherent compulsion, stored in the uterus.

I hear what you're saying and I don't blame you a bit. My kids' parties have run the gamut from "extravaganza" to "quiet day at home with only our closest relatives" and, surprise! There are pros and cons to both. But I'm trying to scale back too. Right after I finish planning and preparing for my daughter's "Princess Tea Party" birthday bash in August. ;-)

Thanks for stopping by and for your nice words. You have a really great blog too! I'll be back.

Happy Birthday, little guy. And take a break, mama. I totally agree with you on this. Small parties are where it's at. Just a couple of friends for the kids or 2-3 couples worth of our friends makes for a much nicer time. I'd rather have four small parties than one large because that was I know I'll get to talk to everyone all evening at each party.

So then you're not having a party for me next month for my birthday? Uh, ok then. Thanks anyway.

I'm with you on the big party thing. My wife's family is into huge, long-lasting gatherings. I'm not. It's too much of a hassle. For example, we ended up having a co-ed baby shower with 200+ people in attendance. My son's Baptism party had about the same amount of people. Luckily neither were at our house. It was still too much stress.

I am right there with ya, and OhMommy - enough is enough. There is a quote somewhere that says "Children need your presence, not your presents." Can't remember who said that, but it definitely rings true!

I don´t see anything wrong with family parties. Neither of my sons had a big bash for their first birthdays and the older one didn´t have one for his second birthday either.

Kids enjoy doing something special on their birthday. What that is depends on you. Some of my most memorable birthdays include going to the pool with my family, enjoying a picnic at historical ruins and visiting a ghost town. None of those involved anyone other than my parents and my sisters. :)

We had parties for our daughter when she was young, just because she wanted to do stuff with her friends. Our son, not so much. He's just not a party kid. I felt bad for him, but it's what he wanted. Now that they are older he wants the parties, and she doesn't. It all evens out. Our rule when they are growing up was one guest for each year they were plus one. (4yo = 5 guests) It worked out pretty well.

A happy belated birthday to your baby boy! That's right - we had our parties for our kiddos on the same day. =) I'm STILL exhausted from it. =)

Amen, lady! Only small parties from now on, too!

I am really enjoying your blog and so resonate with this post! It is such the internal battle, but I am coming to similar conclusions for my boys - In fact, we have really toned down what we have done with our second and instead work to really make it about what THEY want and would think to be really memorable rather than what all of the other kids do. The amazing part is that the kids really don't care as long as the attention is on them and they get their special day.

I'm throwing a totally over the top 1st and 2nd b-day for the kids. Professional puppet theater, lavish food, copious amounts of liquor, three tierd cake, and like 15 toddlers, what the f was I thinking?

Heehee. I HATE kid's birthday parties. And when did it become something parents STAYED for? When we were kids, we were dropped off. It was a KID'S party. Now, it's these huge affairs. I too will follow your lead and have smaller parties as Sun gets older.

Oh man, do I feel you.
Well, kinda.

Last Sunday, we had a graduation party for my brother Todd and at one point there were over 100 people at our house. I watched myself, my mom, and my Gram run around like chicken with our heads cut off for it, only to be the "hostess with the mostess" for the entire party. It wasn't until there were about 5 minglers that we were able to sit down and enjoy the (by then) cold food and lukewarm beer.

Never again, says my mom and I AGREE.

I totally agree with you! The big parties are just not worth it! We did one for our anniversary, and I didn't even get to visit with anyone! I was too busy running around waiting on everyone at the party!!

Oh hun, I feel your pain. I learned the same lesson after my daughter's 1st birthday too. It wasn't that big of a party, but big enough for me to learn that it's no fun having to work my butt off for hours for everyone else's enjoyment. You are so right about future parties and our children wanting to be with friends. A great reminder now that I'm planning Babisodes 3rd birthday.

I feel the aftershock of your stress just reading this! I learned that lesson early on too. A happy life is a simplified life! And a happy mom = happy kids.