Mr. Wonder Gel Takes a Dirt Nap
May 23, 2008 This Friday is like no other on Long Island. It is the weekend for the official kick off to summer. Back when I was single, kid free and crazy I would patiently wait all year long for this Friday. I would be giddy with excitement from the moment I woke up.
My friends and I would have the house in the Hamptons lined up. We would be making plans to see what bars we would “hit” and what cute outfits we were going to wear.
Friday night would be spent at our friend’s house in the Hampton’s.
Saturday night would be spent at local spots like Casey’s or Beach Bar.
Sunday was the slop mess of the Boardy Barn.
Ask me how I feel about this Friday now?
Frustration. Why?
Well, because as of today every Friday until Labor Day will be a traffic nightmare when I get out of work at 4:30 pm. All the single, kid free crazy “kids” will be packing up and hoping in their car with the intentions of getting on the road by 3:00 pm. The very popular Hamptons Jitney bus line will be adding extra fleet to drag the NYC “kids” out to the east end of Long Island for fun in the sun.
What I am saying is that traffic is a mess. A big fat mess. And what kills me is that I can drive 58 in a 55mph zone and get pulled over for speeding. But Mr. Wonder Gel and his fake Prada sunglasses can be driving on the shoulder at 89 mph, on his cell phone, with NO headset, texting to Miss Fake & Bake next to him and not get a ticket.
So, every Friday from now until Labor Day I will sit in a ridiculous amount of traffic. To entertain myself I pretend I am Sabrina the Teenage Middle age Witch. I have secret powers that can magically wish for quicksand traps on the road so that when Mr. Wonder Gel and Miss Fake & Bake drive by in the shoulder at 89 mph they are sadly met by a dirt nap.
My next blog post will be about, how to correctly fill out your AARP form since apparently I am old and have this post to prove it.
PS. Happy Memorial Day to all!
Reader Comments (15)
That is such a funny way to write about your frustrations. :)
I actually saw on the Today show today, the traffic in New York, and it did look atrocious.
So I am hoping your "powers" work and you are able to get home super fast every weekend.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, whenever you can get home to start it!
I so feel your pain on this one. Driving to work this morning I already hit traffic of the locals leaving and will get into it with the tourists coming in as I leave this afternoon. I may just stay home wishing for my own Sabrina powers.
I'm SO with you on that. Damn kids! Get off the road!
Have an awesome Memorial Day weekend!
Oy.I can feel the frustration coming outta my screen. I had these same issues when I lived on Miami Beach. I didn't have my daughter then, but those crazy kid drivers still drove me nuts!
Hope you have a great weekend.
This made me think of a little old man on his front porch going "Darn kids! Get off my lawn!"
LOL
Isn't it amazing how much things change once you have kids. I'd be on a roadtrip to West Palm Beach, FL right about now, and I think I'd be right around Columbia, SC at this very hour. LOL
HAH.
Just tonight, Curt was bitching about how freakin' busy this weekend's traffic will be, and how we're going to deal with that every summer weekend here on out, due to a huge lake up north of us.
I laughed and called him old.
Jus' sayin' ;)
That is the exact reason I never moved to Long Island.
TRAFFIC.
Bleh
Happy Memorial Day!
Can you email me that spell when you figure it out? That may come in useful here as well.
There is no traffic where I live--and no ocean or NYC either! Every once in a while I'd like to trade with a New Yorker. But a sign of my age is that it's not that often any more.
Have a good weekend!
Why don't you move to Ohio? There isn't ever any traffic. UGH! I would love some traffic. Traffic means success and coolness and so not ohioness.
I love the way you described traffic. I can't stand traffic this time of year either. I recently moved to Sacramento, CA and I swear it is just as bad. In this town we have stoplights at nearly every intersection. When I get off work I am in stop and go traffic all the way home. I get to one light and it is red. As soon as it turns green and I cross the intersection I have to stop again. Kids are everywhere this time of year. They fly down the road blasting their stereos and it drives me nuts! But then I remember I did the very same thing before I had my own kids. I feel your pain!
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"My next blog post will be about, how to correctly fill out your AARP form since apparently I am old and have this post to prove it." *snort* You are hilarious.
My suggestion (not that you asked): work an extra 1/2 hour on Mon-Thur in the summer, and then leave work at 2:30 instead of 4:30 on Fridays. Beat the traffic. Voila! (Of course, this depends on your office, not on me, but it's just a thought...)
Yikes. I have never been to the Hamptons, but that does NOT sound like fun whatsoever. In my "old" age, and also due to the fact that I live in the country, I really REALLY have grown to hate traffic. When I was young and in the city, I was used to it and it never bothered me. Now it just infuriates me.
Good luck this summer! Hopefully you can work out some schedule to make your Fridays less stressful!
I am such a midwest girl. I always wondered where the Hamptons were. For some reason I thought they were in Connecticut or something.
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