Inside a J.A. Meeting
December 20, 2007 
“My name is Kim and I am 5’11” (crowd says Hi Kim back in unison) and I have been a gentle giant addicted to buying really long jeans since the ninth grade. Here is my story.”
Puberty hit me the summer before I hit ninth grade. I left eighth grade an average sized girl and returned to ninth grade as a gentle giant. I grew about five inches that summer, I am not even kidding. I hated it. Yes, we all know boys hit puberty later than girls, but it sucked. It sucked that all the boys were at least six inches shorter than me.
However, that is still not why I have enrolled in J.A. (Jeans Anonymous).
During my junior and senior years in high school is when my problem addiction started. Jeans were uber cool item to wear in school. You had two toned jeans, tie died, leopard print, stonewashed, acid wash you name it. Jeans were HOT. Yet, these hot jeans were impossible to find in LONG length. So I was forced to wear high waters a.k.a. flood pants. Imagine how stylish I must have looked to the boys; here comes Lurch (from The Addams Family) and her floods. Mix that with some acne and braces and you have America’s Next Top Model.
My single mother would remind me just that, she was single. This meant one salary and “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”. You can imagine the ridicule I had to endure; kids are bastards not nice. Well, as soon as I graduated and had a real job my quest began; to find jeans in a long length.
Fast forward (um, 2007-1990=one old Lurch). I am now addicted to buying jeans. Not just any kind of jeans, really, really, really, ridiculously (doing my best Zoolander voice there) long jeans. Long enough that I can trip on them when I am wearing tennis shoes. Long enough for people who don’t know me to tell me I am stepping on the hem of my pants. I tell those very nice attentive people, thank you, but I have a problem and I am seeking help because as a child I went without so I over compensate now. They just look at me like I forgot my medication, but isn’t the first part of an addiction to admit there is a problem?
Reader Comments (7)
Hilarious! I WISH that was my problem, all my pants are toooo long, I can never find them SHORT enough !! your blog is just FAB! and you crack me up! Keep up the marvelous work!
Take Care
LJ
http://www.mommygetspaid.com/
LOL...Tie died and leopard print jeans?? I think I was still rocking my onsie back then...LMAO! I love your stories! Thanks for always making me laugh :o}
Oh my gosh this was just too funny. I (at barely 5'1") had just the opposite problem, I had to roll up the uber cool jeans, so they looked pretty weird on me. : )
My sister has that problem with sleeves - she can't find a coat to keep her warm! Her underarm is about five inches longer than average for women.
Being a shortie, I had the opposite problem. I always looked enviously at girls like you with long legs. Now I realize that we should have been beating the average length girls with our jeans!
Okay, Kim, you need to take the show out on the road. Really. You are awesome!
I am also 5'11" and I wear a 4/6... it's pretty freaking hard to buy jeans!
But I love Lucky Brand. They are my fav. I like the easy rider because they have stretch and they aren't super low cut.
And I get the extra long.. same thing..have to wear heels or I'm going to step on them.. it's fun, isn't it?